Notes From The Front Line: When Sheep Become Dogs

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Are we still alive? Things are getting heated out there aren’t they? Things are getting a little tetchy. Now don’t get me wrong there are thousands of us that have a great stoical and quintessentially English way of skirting around natural and unnatural disasters. We put the kettle on a lot and ‘um and ar’ over events. We tend to stand in queues, be patient, we tend to observe hysterical behaviour with a sniff and an increase in the distance between you and ‘them’. But the Sheep are becoming Dogs. I have witnessed some very rude people this past couple of days.

I have spent much time this week helping out a few people who need things fetching and carrying as any touch of this fucking virus will have them jed as a doornail in double quick time. So I have spent time in shops, social distancing myself, doing what the Government has asked me to do. I have been a good subject. I know things are weird as fuck and people are getting nervous. I’ve seen it. Perhaps, as well, people are scared. But being scared doesn’t mean your behaviour has to deteriorate to a point where you become uncivilised. Sheep are everywhere in normal day to day life. They are the people that clog paths and shop aisles as they ruminate over things they wish to spend their money on. These people have a lacklustre sheen over their eyes. They are the ones who never indicate in their cars. They are the people that park badly or on paths so you have to squeeze past. They are the people that (if) they aren’t cramming shit in their mouths every five minutes to chew on they get ‘hungry’. They get annoyed too, that certain events are stopping them from nurturing the most important thing in their lives, and that important thing is themselves. I had to step in a few times when in shops to gently persuade certain shoppers that their language and behaviour is not what is required. Especially when they are abusing shop staff who are running their employers business to help out members of the public who require essentials. God bless these workers and I mean that. The shit they have to put up with is ridiculous. Some bint yesterday with eyebrows like Groucho Marx and a fanny that probably looked like the Elephant Mans armpit started kicking off in a shop I was in. She was like an attack Dog berating the staff who hustled around doing the best they good under extremely dangerous and trying circumstances. They weren’t prepared to say anything but I was and did…in the best way I can. I know people are scared and fearful and I know that fear turns into aggression which in turn can take a bullying and shitty groove. Be fucking nice. Be fucking polite until this thing is over and you can get back to being a generally selfish horrible bastard that you normally are.

But when people are aggressive it normally means they are scared and they don’t quite understand how to deal with those feelings especially when the ‘fear’ is a resounding ‘what the fuck is going on in the world’. Everybody should try to be nice for a while, it’s a shit enough situation without adding more shit.

One of the funniest things I’ve seen this week is the infamous ‘Gaz Mastic’ trotting around the ends wearing a mask he made himself from a disposable nappy via a video he watched on YouTube or ‘You Tuwab’ as he calls it. My laughs were deep and rolling as he came towards me going ‘stay back Mikey social distancing ay it, I don’t want to ‘ketch’ anything’. I couldn’t speak to be honest. The nappy was held together with an old shoelace and packing tape and to be fair wasn’t a brilliant job especially as it was on top of his head as Gaz was trying to keep his roll up lit. 

In Wolves news Raul has waxed a few lyrics about wanting to stay at Wolves. Aside from the familiar glowing love grooves I felt when I read that I also think it’s for the best. There are many things here for Raul to get his teeth into at Wolves. One of them is something I have spoken about at length. The evolution of our football club that has grown from the simple narrative of point gathering and honour chasing to a definite Philosophy that incorporates a trinity of factors. Fosun/Nuno and us. Here Raul sees things that other clubs lack and he wants some of this madness, he needs to have his football underpinned by something more than just a transfer merry go round where riches fall into his lap as he himself becomes a viable buy and an attractive purchase for clubs around Europe. You will have your chance to shine on a greater stage than the Premier League and Europa League that much is sure Raul me old mucka. You keep scoring goals and under that Philosophical Trinity you will reach stratospheric heights I’m sure. But as this Virus Event ticks on through what remains of our season the important factor is that Raul and company stay focussed and stay fit and I suspect that having that Philosophy at Wolves will act as a foundation or an inspiration for our team to stay sharp and motivated.

I wouldn’t be surprised to see Nuno and his staff using this period and lack of inertia as a time to take stock of what they actually achieved so far in the project. A time maybe to stand a bit further back and have a look at the ‘thing’ they have built here. This will be a positive act for they will have a much clearer idea of how they want to evolve in the years to come in a footballing sense any way. As much as I deride Klopp and Guardiola you can see that their success albeit bankrolled with cash money is underpinned by their own slightly warped Philosophy and football in the future will be changing to accommodate those new ideas. We can attract new players with it and keep our current squad too. Again I expect the rest of the season to be played behind closed doors with nobody there to watch except on the telly. Maybe this whole Virus thing will change football as we know it forever once the dust has settled and the data is in ready to be picked over. I can see international travel now having some biometric element to ensure that every travelling fan has the requisite vaccinations stamped in their passports as well as some element of their medical history being available for the perusal of unsmiling Immigration men at airports etc. We used to moan about loyalty points remember? Now it will be jabs. People on Twitter bragging about how many Yellow Fever injections they are away from a free Wolves mug. 

But as the world changes we have to remember to be human beings as well. I am missing the football and the madness of our team in the Premier League. I am missing my friends as well. I will be glad when this bollocks is all over and done with, perhaps it will never be done with and we will have to deal with new disasters and the changes they provoke. Will be football ever be the same?

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