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Gather around children…

Once upon a time in a land called Molineux there was a brave handsome Prince named Nuno. In that land in which he lived the people didn’t smile much. It wasn’t that the land of Molineux was a sad land. They were generally a happy people, singing songs, drinking beer, laughing, drinking, singing and laughing some more. Prince Nuno was a very wise and brave man. Everybody in the land of Molineux loved him and when they saw him they would all sing to him so he would wave at them, then the people of Molineux would wave back and cheer. Prince Nuno made them very happy and they made songs for Nuno and Nuno smiled too for he knew that they loveth him.

The Ruler of Molineux was King Jeff who came from a land very far away from Molineux. The people of Molineux were very happy with King Jeff because King Jeff brought sacks of gold and jewels from that far off land. This made the people glad because their last King the wicked Morgan of Scouseland was very miserly. Often he would be seen in his tower at Molineux counting his money and cackling to himself. Baron Moxey who was King Morgans Chancellor was also a wicked man and he would steal some of that money too but it wasn’t called ‘stealing’ children, it was called ‘commission’ and King Morgan and Chancellor Moxey became very rich and the people of Molineux became sadder and sadder. The songs they sang became sadder too and people didn’t like coming to Molineux any more. It was even rumored among them that King Morgan didn’t even want to be King of Molineux at all and that he didn’t love them he just wanted their money and land to build expensive houses and fill them with grey people.

One day the people of Molineux became very angry that King Morgan and his friends didn’t really love the people that came to sing praises and songs of happiness every Saturday after working all week. Soon the people started calling the King horrible names and the Chancellor Moxey got called even worse ones because as well as keeping all the money he would also eat all the pies to himself. But soon King Jeff came and kicked the wicked Morgan out of his tower in a great battle and with him he brought the brave Prince Nuno and lots of Knights from sun drenched places that saw no snow or rain.

One day Prince Nuno was told he had to take his brave Knights to a dark land far away called Norfolk. Within that cold dark land was a place called Norwich which had it’s own King and there was to be a battle. This battle was to gain ‘magic points’ and these magic points were collected all year in various battles. The points were gathered together at the end of the year and the Kingdom that had the most magic points would be allowed into the land of the Premiership where there was much Gold and jewels, enough for everybody to share. King Jeff summoned Prince Nuno to him.

‘Prince Nuno! Thou shalt take your brave Knights to the Land of Norfolk and battle for these magic points for I wish that the people of Molineux should also sing my praises and I will let that Gold spill from my hands unto their hearts and the songs will be mighty and loud, verily much beer will be drunk’ and King Jeff pointed to the East…’Goeth with these men I have arrayed for thee and they shalleth be called ‘The Brotherhood of the Wolf’ and verily you shalt have my blessings upon thy wisest of heads’… and Prince Nuno gathered his Knights and prepared set off.

The land of Norwich was ruled by a man named Balls and verily many did laugh at this and so it was the people of that land in the East became bitter and waved their lobster hands in the air as yay! they were cursed and hated the people of Molineux because we had flags of deepest Gold and Bible black and our totem was a Wolf but the people of Norwich had flags of bile green and vomit yellow and verily their Totem was a small singing bird.

They remembered too many years in the past a brave Knight of Molineux Prince Kevin of Muscat who when battling the evil no necked dwarf ‘Craig of Bellamy’ verily did try to snappeth off his leg. The people of Norwich did click their lobster hands in a rage when this evil dwarfs name was mentioned and verily the people of Molineux dideth mention his name much when battles were met. Much to the jollity of the Molineux but not to the sad Lobster handed peoples of Norwich.

Prince Nuno set off with songs and much praise even if he had lost his last battle with the wicked bald headed ogre of West London only a few risings of the sun before. The wicked Ogre although victorious went back into it’s evil smelling cave to chew the festering bones of it’s season and Prince Nuno although beaten was glad he had the knowledge of the Ogre and would be prepared the next time they met in battle. But King Jeff verily said unto Nuno…

‘There are riches enough my Prince in this war and verily it will last until Spring and the coming of Summer and it is early in your battles as it is in your years, go forth with this knowledge and my blessing for I require three of these magic points today and thou wilt bring them to me so verily the people of Molineux will be triumphant and glad and we may sing songs’ and Prince Nuno was pleased.

So it came to pass that the singing and happy people of Molineux dideth travel through many dark roads, passing through valleys of fear and cold until at last they came to the place of battle. Verily did the peoples of that place also cometh for did they not come to see the Gold and Black standards of the Molineux and the Brotherhood of the Wolf?? Did they not wish to see the splendour of our banners? Were we not beautiful to look upon? And the peoples of Norwich did pour from their caves to watch the Knights of Gold and Black arrive upon the battlefield and there was Sir Conor of Coady, Sir Jota of Jota, the brave young Prince Bonatini, the warriors Sir Neves of Neves, Sir Bright of Enobakhare, the laughing Cavalier Ivan of Cavaleiro and Sir Alf of N’Diaye together with others who had yet to marketh their names upon the rolls of honour.

The battle commenced and yay the hordes of Norwich did sing strange songs in the language of their caves and verily we dideth struggle to understand their plaintive wailings and yet our own songs were sung loud and clear upon the battlefield and our warriors did feel themselves heartened and strong with these voices and the leadership of Prince Nuno. For Prince Nuno did consult with the Wizards of the Kwan and they were wise with their words and it was the will of Nuno that his young Knights did run hither and thither unto the gaps between the un-named soldiers of Prince Farck who commended them in his fashion. Verily it was seen that indeed these warriors of ours were brave and forthright, for were not the songs we sang full of the glories of the past? Did we not have the right to sit at the tables of Kings and proclaim our rightful place among them?

The battle commences and what a sight to behold it was. The strategies were simple and yet eloquent, a veritable delight of linked interplays, the flashing of foot, the incisive tactics. Prince William of Boly stretched his long shanks around the pitch of battle as a storm, every attack by the men of Norwich instantly pushed back under the weight of his skill. The night sky of that cursed land was aglow with the delights of the crowds that had come to feast their eyes upon such skills and even the trolls from the surrounding ditches of Norwich did verily attend and thus the battleground was awash with the puke yellow and gang-green of their flags.

But verily and yay! They were quiet under the storm of the Wolfs again and again our Princes and Sirs battered the defence of the Norwichians and their greenbelt wizardry. But alas the flatland trolls had no answer and an attack dideth tear asunder the vanguard of the Norwichians and the black Prince of Boly did smasheth thy head upon the ball and verily that ball did’st erupt upon the back netting of the Norwichian goal. What songs we did’st sing upon this goal and verily there were limbs and much accusations that these Norwichians did’st touch themselves in sordid and sinful ways when within their caves. There were also promises of eternal brotherhood as the Wolf hordes did proclaim yay! and verily! for this is the greatest team upon the earth by far and verily Norwichian battle plans were lower than an eel and verily they were much proclamations and statements that the Norwichian hordes were ‘shit’ and their songs lacked the virility that was showethed by our attacks upon them. And indeed these flatlanders were silent much of the battle unless we dideth sing of Prince Kevin of Muscat whereupon much bile was released and the Norwichians didth strike themselves in the balls often and their plaintive wailings did’st fill the ground as an animal in pain.

Sir Jota of Jota did’st indeed showeth also his array of skills and set the standard of the Wolf firmly upon the middle of battle and verily dideth proclaim his own bravery and lack of fear as he danced around the Norwichian Princes and Sirs and made them look as sad burned monkeys upon a fire as the commands of Prince Nuno did’st echo indeed throughout the field of battle.

But what ends are these as Prince Bonatini took it upon himself to seize the day and settle the standard of the Wolf upon the goal of the Lime Green and Lemon yellows of the Norwichian goal? Verily he did standeth upon the green grass of that place among the blood soaked field of dreams and verily did proclaim yes! This is our power and never again shall we visiteth this place and not mention the day as it stands, a victory and a day of fired hearts, belief in the Prince of Nuno and his Holy writ…

The simple warrior Jack of Price did’st attend the battle in the later stages of it when victory seemed certain. Harried and forlorn were the men of the Norwichian flat lands and verily the support of those around did dwindle as the battle drew to it’s close and the crows did circle upon the pitch ready to devour the lost dreams of those men. For is it not a thing that they too had dreamed of victory? That they, in their dreams had seen the standard of the Wolf fall upon the soaked grass to be trampled? Were not their dreams important? Verily this mere scribe did not give a shitteth and sang great goodbye songs to them as they filed from the battle with long faces and strange garbs.

The journey is at an end at least for this chapter children. And verily the journey back to King Jeff was a long and arduous one as the Norwichians in their depravity and lack of honour did’st closeth off the road leading to the fair city of Wolverhampton. Verily dideth we seek a path through the black clouds of their misfortunes at the hands of the Wolfs, verily did we seek upon the horizon that golden glow of our spires and towers. Prince Nuno it is said held the precious three points within his hands ready to present to King Jeff this gift from them who have done battle upon the darkness and the unlight of Norwich.

Let it be said as he hands those points to King Jeff that alas there will be voices from other Kingdoms this day that Prince Nuno shouldeth join with another city or another Kingdom and that he may gather around him other Princes and men so that their city will also have the joy and laughter that the Brotherhood of the Wolf haveth enjoyed. But nay! and Verily! for is it not seen that Prince Nuno has been given his own kingdom here. Do we not see that this Kingdom is not upon the concrete and steel battlements of their kingdoms and gratitudes of gold upon his purse but instead within the hearts of its people? Shall we not say that this reward is worth thrice that of golden coins? This humble scribe will say at least these Kingdoms who would offer lies and mistruths to Prince Nuno shouldeth fucketh off and that my friends is the end of this tale……for now.